Parenting “The Impossible Kid” With Love and GraceSample

One Sunday, while our family was on the way to church, my husband and I were fighting. After parking, we headed to church looking spiffy in our Sunday best. An elder greeted us with “My, what a lovely family.” I smiled and politely said, “Looks can be deceiving.” He returned my grin. Just to smile and say thank you seemed way too hypocritical. 

Children can sniff out a fake like a hound dog. 

Trying to construct an illusion of perfection can weaken your relationship with your children; being real and openly flawed will build a stronger connection.

Are you willing to let your children see you as something other than perfect? 

Being real and honest and open takes bravery. Letting out the “real me” in front of my kids sets the stage for a loving relationship. 

The real you is always better than a facade. 

This fosters mutual respect. 

I regularly checked in with my children to see if I had injured their hearts in any way by asking, “Is there anything I’ve done to cause you pain or hurt?” This doesn’t mean you erase consequences for poor choices, but it does mean she can go to you with an injured heart. You can apologize for hurting him and still set a boundary. 

When a child gives and receives forgiveness, it softens their heart toward our Creator, who forgives lavishly and unendingly. 

When we walk in integrity, we point our children to a Father they can trust. We do this by staying connected to God, our rock our fortress, and our strength (Psalm 31), His pouring flows to us and overflows to our kids. 

Like Jesus said in John 15:4, “Remain in Me, and I in you.” When we remain in the Lord, He will guide us and lead us. 

So what? When we sit at the feet of Jesus and allow Him to pour in spiritual truth, we can then pour out spiritual truth to our children. Allow God to step in instead of relying on human reactions. 

Dear God, help me to be consistent with my actions and my words and guide me to seek You in all things.