Real Hope: Lonelinessنموونە

THE GIFT  OF LONELINESS

As I write this, we are in COVID-19 isolation. We are being warned about the reality of loneliness for people shut in or on their own. Look out for your elderly neighbours, we are being reminded. Call your friends who are on their own. Kind gestures that I am sure are helping make this time bearable for many.

Loneliness is not just aloneness. It is a longing, even craving. Loneliness is the feeling of wanting to, but not being able to be connected to others. Significant others who make us know we are loved and affirmed. Loneliness is the feeling of being left out. It can go deep and cause distress.

But loneliness can also be a gift. Charles Ringma says: ‘loneliness… is rather the place where we can discover our true self. It is a place of sanctity. It is a gift to be treasured, for it not only separates us “far from the madding crowd”, but it also helps us to find that inner security from which we can make our friendships, build our relationships, and engage in life’s pursuits without that compulsive drive that finally destroys rather than builds.’

As an extrovert, I can attest to this enforced isolation as being a very challenging time. But one I think I will look back on with gratitude for what it has taught me about myself, and the habits of avoidance and escape that so easily ensnare me. Let’s learn from loneliness and go deeper in learning ‘the secret of being content in any and every situation… in plenty or in want’.

written by TIM COSTELLO

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