Can You Just Sit With Me? Sitting With God in Griefنموونە

Remembering God

When my sister Angie died at age thirty-two, I became so furious with God. I felt as if I’d been sucked into a tornado. Thoughts, memories, what I knew, and what I thought I knew about myself, God, my family, and my life whirled all around me. There I was reaching with hands outstretched unable to grasp a concrete truth because of the pain of loss thrown at me.

I was at the impressionable age of nineteen and a newbie Christ follower, and the foundation I established in my faith by then came to a screeching halt. I’d prayed for God to heal my sister, and I thought he would because he is God. But he didn’t. Not in the way I’d hoped, on this side of heaven.

Who is God anyway? And can he do what he says he can do? These questions raced in my head and maybe they race in yours too. The shock of loss can shake our faith. It can cause us to question our faith even. Have you ever felt this way? If so, you’re not alone.

When we experience loss, most often we experience what I call “spiritual amnesia” or a crisis of faith. This is due to the brunt force of the loss, the hurt, the pain, and the suffering we are encountering. The grief becomes so loud, we forget who we know and believe God to be. It jars our truth and pixelates our faith. However, it does not mean we lose our faith because we are grieving. The grief may cloud our thinking and the way we see God. But God is still God and we are still his children.

Thus, as Christ followers, it’s important when we experience these times to remind ourselves of who God is and how he is unchanging, never failing, and faithful to his Word. He does not bring grief upon us. Instead, he promises to be with us in it. And if you’re reading this, I believe you know this to be so.