How Do I Deal with My Rebellious TeenSample

Sovereign Control

We said yesterday that whenever parents are dealing with a rebellious child, they should examine their own lives. It is not so much about the rebellious teen, as it is our responsibility to be pleasing to the Lord. The only negative command in the New Testament specifically to parents is, “Do not exasperate your children.” You may want to ask yourself, “Have I potentially contributed in any way to their rebellion?” If there are any sins that the Lord points to in our lives, we should seek the Lord’s forgiveness, and we should also seek our child’s forgiveness. 

Beyond seeking forgiveness, we need to keep in mind God’s sovereignty. You could raise your kids in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, but there is no guarantee that they’re going to embrace Christ in their lives. Many times, the goal as Christian parents is that our kids become faithful followers of Christ. That should be every parent’s desire, but that is not the ultimate goal. The bottom line is, we’re not in control of that. 

Too often we hold on to that principle in the book of Proverbs that says, “If you train your child in the way he should go, when he’s old he will not depart from it.” So many times that verse is quoted by parents whose kids have veered away from the Lord or have never come to Christ and just rejected him. That verse is not necessarily true in that sense. It is more of a principle, and it may be in fact, a bad interpretation of the original. In the Hebrew, it could actually mean, “Train up your child in his way.” In other words, “Let him have his way all the time, and when he’s old he’ll continue to want his way.” That could be a better interpretation of that verse. 

Ultimately, our children are God’s. I think we’ve created a culture in the church today that says, “Good kids are the result of good parents, or godly parents equal godly kids.” That is not a guarantee. Ultimately, God is sovereign over the hearts of our kids. It is good to make some self-examination, but once you’ve done that and confessed and repented of any exasperating type sins, don’t beat yourself up. Trust the Lord that He has your kid’s heart under His sovereign control.