Blending A Family DevotionalSample

 Difficult Former Spouses

Some former spouses continue to co-parent well. We realize each case is different and so the level of difficulty to manage the new home varies widely. 

We want to give attention to difficult former spouses who may be creating interference in our new home. Many families have expressed various issues with a former spouse. Here are common causes of strife and some reasonable solutions to consider. 

Understanding the Strife 

Sometimes former spouses stir up trouble because: 

1. they may carry wounds from the failed marriage. 

2. us moving on in life can foster jealousy. 

3. prior to remarriage former spouses were co-parenting together. The remarriage may have changed our approach with our former spouse. Our new spouse is now our highest priority.

4. a former spouse may fear a new (step) parent is trying to replace them.

Consider These Thoughts 

A former spouse is not our enemy—the devil is. Our adversary looks for opportunities and uses people to divide relationships. 

We judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge others by their actions. When we hurt someone, we are regretful and want forgiveness. However, when someone has hurt us, we usually hold them accountable. 

Communicate and consider an apology. Try talking to our former spouse about what is troubling them. Apologize to them for any hurt we caused.

Pick our battles and be a peacemaker. Some issues are not worth a fight. Our emotions are contagious. Don’t let another person’s negative emotions trigger ours. Let our contagious emotion be peace. 

You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. (Matthew 5:9a MSG). 

Legal Recourse.  Sometimes the legal system is needed to resolve conflict. Whenever possible, be willing to compromise and work things out. If necessary consult an attorney for advice. 

Suggestions:

Co-parenting between biological parents is necessary. Let them know your new spouse is not replacing the biological parent.  

Realize that your former spouse will likely be a part of you and your child’s lives for years to come. So, strive to develop an amicable relationship.

Look at yourself. Do you create difficulty in your former spouse’s home? Be a peace-maker.

Our Prayer for you:

Father, pour Your unconditional love in this family. Bring favor with all extended family. Help them heal and build peace with former spouses. In Your Son’s name! 

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry