Beautifully Broken- A Study For Special Needs ParentsSample

A New Normal

"Reckon it nothing but joy whenever you find yourself hedged in by various trials, be assured that the testing of your faith leads to power of endurance." James 1:2-3 NWT

Reckon: the belief that something is true or possible

Hedged in: an enclosure which surrounds or secures

Trials: experience which produces testing of quality or performance

Endurance: the ability to endure an unpleasant or difficult situation without giving way

In other words, whenever you are surrounded by trials as a special needs parent and testing of your emotional and spiritual will power and stamina occurs, BELIEVE in the JOY that comes when you persevere! Do not give up!

The tough times will absolutely come, when  you will be hedged in by what seems insurmountable troubles. The special needs life can be so very hard at times. But  remember, God also hedges in his own! Job asked why life is given to a man, whom God had hedged in. And who knew the answer to that question?  Satan knew the answer! Satan pointedly asked God in exasperation, "Have you not put a hedge around Job and his household and everything he has?" Job's hedge was more like a bubble of safety and security. God had hedged him in on purpose.

Whether the hedge is there for testing and trials or whether it's there to provide  protection and safety, God sees us there in the hedges. We can choose to act as if God doesn't care about where we are or we can choose to trust that God is good and actively involved in our trials even when things don't make any sense. The choice to find joy is always ours to make. When the hedged in time of testing is finally over, when we've matured our faith and persevered, when we've trusted that God is growing us for His good, He will lead us out, helping us to move on safely. And when that time finally comes, you will be stronger, wiser, and more confident in your faith than ever before.

Can you be joyful in all things, in all your exhausting circumstances? I've met a few people who fit this bill. They seem to always be happy and peaceful. But can anyone honestly say in all sincerity that they rejoice always? Paul gives us three impossible commands in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus" and doesn't expand on what that looks like. He throws them out there and moves to his next point.

The key words are at the end of verse 18: in Christ Jesus. We can not do it on our own. We must put our faith and hope in Jesus for this to occur.

Always joyful doesn't mean we walk around with fake smiles and put on a happy face to everyone we encounter. It doesn't mean we cast aside emotions, denying our feelings, to look as if we are handling life just fine. We shouldn't be made to act like our new normal in caring for a child with special needs isn't hard. We aren't expected to pretend. That's not what we saw Jesus do when times were hard and that's not what this verse is saying at all. 

Joy is a conscious attitude where, even amidst our pain, trials, sadness, and fears, we deliberately choose to focus on the ultimate promise of our glorious eternity with Jesus. This life, while admittedly hard, is still just a temporary place. 

We can fully  embrace our emotions without letting them override the truth of who  Jesus is and what He did for us. David wrote psalms of confusion, not  understanding where God was and would still end them in joyful praises of who God is. Job did the same. Paul sang praises to God  while suffering beatings and being imprisoned for his faith. Joy is not ever dependent on our circumstances. Joy is a spiritual attitude.

Praying  continually is what allows our hearts and minds to focus on being joyful always. We train our brain to see the good from the bad, the perseverance to endure trials, the joy in spite of the pain, the trust that God has a providential purpose; that God is always working things out on our behalf. God sees our trials as a special needs parent and is with us all the way.

Growing fruits of the spirit take time. Joy is one of those mighty spiritual fruits that doesn't mature overnight. It takes training, nourishment, encouragement, and trust to grow it into the mighty character trait God has purposed for you.

With God's help, the Spirits leading, and focusing on our relationship to Jesus, we can slowly shift our attitude to be able to give thanks in all things. To find joy in the journey. To see the beauty in the brokenness. To see God's story in our story. He meets us in our mess so we can turn our new normal into acceptance with joy.

Reflection:

Have you faced a situation that wasn't positive but turned into something beneficial and God-honoring?

How can you regain your enthusiasm to better care for your special needs child?