All InSample

Selfishness has many different characteristics—pride, arrogance, greed, or egotism. But there are other characteristics that we tend not to connect with selfishness—low self-esteem, shame, or in some cases, even excessive humbleness. 

Selfishness has been a thorn in my side my whole life. Many times it takes the form of arrogance and pride. Other times it takes the form of shame and low self-esteem. Many of us believe that being humble is thinking less of yourself, when that is actually a false humility still focusing on ourselves. 

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” ― C.S. Lewis 

In my life, there are times when I ignore the wise counsel of someone who loves me because I am not willing to admit the things I have done or want to do. More times than I can count, I have failed— each time leading me to struggle with self-worth. Whether I am feeling good or bad about myself, what makes it selfish is that I am focused only on me, what I did or did not do or what I do or do not have. 

The best way to know if you are walking in selfishness is to take notice of how many times you say or think “I,” “mine,” “my,” or “me.” 

It is nearly impossible to be selfless when you are constantly focused on yourself. The difference is that a selfless life starts inwardly, and as you begin to change your focus, then you will begin to change your actions. The action is not what makes something selfish or selfless; it is the focus of the action when we perform it. We could be doing the greatest work, like helping the church grow or seeing people come to know Jesus, and our actions might still be selfish. When we are focused on what we did and only how it will affect us or make us appear, we become a ‘savior,’ no longer in need of the Savior. 

Think about it. Some of the most selfless acts are allowing others to serve us. 

In order to change our programming, we must change our focus. Instead of focusing on ourselves, we need to put God first and focus on Him. 

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." - Matthew 6:33 

In other words, focus on God and He will handle the rest. When we focus on Him, He will transform us into someone who is truly selfless. Only then will we selflessly begin to serve others and elevate those around us. And only then will we want others to experience the same Jesus that we are experiencing. 

"And they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need." -Acts 2:45 

When you look at our theme verses in Acts 2, do you notice that no one got credit for what they did or did not do? No one was focused on themselves, instead they were focused on Jesus and how to share His hope and real love with each other and the world. Although this is not an easy shift, imagine what we will do together if we go all in and focus on God instead of ourselves.