SOLID…Building the Marriage of your DreamsSample

Reignite the Fire

For many couples that waited for marriage to have sex, they can attest to the fact that staying pure was a challenge. Your chemistry before marriage was off the charts. Half the time, you needed a chaperone around to keep you accountable. So, it is very surprising when all that chemistry seems to have fizzled to nothingness when you eventually get married. How is it possible that people who couldn’t hold hands without feeling electricity now have no fire in the bedroom just a few months or years down the line?

The reason chemistry is so vibrant during courtship is because of the air of mystery surrounding your mate. Everything forbidden appears more exciting than it really is. When things are lawful or your entitlement, it is easy to take them for granted.

The key to keeping your sex life vibrant for decades in your marriage is being vigilant about disallowing familiarity as familiarity has a way of killing sexual chemistry.

When you’ve gotten married, you are used to seeing each other at your best and worst, and excitement can wane. Some men disdain their wives who have to take off their makeup at home and admire the flashy women at work. Get real. Those women don’t wake up or go to bed like that. You may not even recognize them without makeup! Women, that guy who looks like he stepped off the cover of GQ isn’t real. He probably has bad breath in the morning! Stop chasing a mirage. Don’t trade what is real for what is pure fiction. Instead, focus on rekindling the spark.

Revisit whatever it was that made intimacy great in the beginning. Revive it and guard it jealously. If you and your spouse have never enjoyed intimacy, however, you should have a serious talk about it.

Action Point: Be intentional about reigniting the fire, find out what makes your spouse tick in this regard, and then do it. Don’t hold on to wrongdoings during the day and use them to withdraw from your spouse at night.