Premarital: Preparing for a God-Honoring MarriageSample

Harmonious Faith: How’s Your Yoke?

Over the next few days, we pray you’ll take the necessary time to seriously pray about the person you’re considering for holy matrimony. Marriage is the second most important decision you’ll ever make while here on earth (second to accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior). So, we hope you’ve taken plenty of time to seek wise counsel and look deeply at your mate (James 1:5).

Needless to say, who you marry really matters to God. Pastor James Ford Jr. put it best when he said, “Look deep before you leap! . . . Does your date rate to mate?” Simply put, does your mate love the Lord, and have they accepted Jesus as their Savior? Do they attend a church willingly and serve in it regularly? The big question here is, are you spiritually like-minded and equally yoked? This topic is divisive because no one wants to be told who they should date or marry.

Now, let’s take a look at what Paul warns us about in 2 Corinthians 6:14–16 (NKJV): “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: ‘I will dwell in them, and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be My people.’”

First, what is a yoke? Merriam-Webster defines it as “a wooden bar or frame by which two draft animals (such as oxen) are joined at the heads or necks for working together.” To best illustrate this for the city of Corinth, Paul likened marriage to two animals being yoked and becoming one on the plowing field. Similarly, Clayton King explains that “just as it’s impossible for two animals yoked together to go in two different directions, it’s impossible for a Christian and a non-Christian, heading in two different directions, to be yoked in marriage and not suffer greatly.”

The Lord is pretty clear about not marrying someone who is not a believer. Entering into a mismatched or unequally yoked marriage can turn into a complete nightmare. Lee and Leslie Strobel share their personal struggle with this and explain the “why” behind this command: “God has prohibited his followers from marrying outside the faith. He loves us so much that he wants to spare us from emotional anguish, the clash of values, and the ongoing conflict that can result when one spouse is a Christian and the other isn’t. His goal isn’t to unnecessarily limit our choices of prospective mates, but to lovingly shield us.”

Yoking together with another believer implies that there is a common goal. Now think of the countless problems that will arise from marrying a non-believer—ranging from finances, parenting, to even what holidays to celebrate. Simply stated, this is a formula for frustration that will ultimately lead to anger and resentment. By dating a non-believer, you make Jesus their rival instead of their Redeemer and friend.

Moreover, this is the Lord’s command, not a suggestion. John 14:15 (NKJV) says, “If you love Me, keep My commandments.” God’s love language is obedience, and if we say we love the Lord, then we should gladly obey our heavenly Father. We should not try to outsmart God or lean on our own understanding because we don’t know more than He does (Proverbs 3:5).

Pause: Read Exodus 34:12–16, Deuteronomy 7:1–10, Deuteronomy 22:10, and Amos 3:3. Discuss what the Lord is saying in these verses.

Practice: Check your mate! Ask yourself:

1. Is he/she spiritually mature and spiritually growing? Is he/she teachable?

2. What are his/her moral values like?

3. What are his/her spiritual habits (e.g., prayer life, serving others, study groups)?

4. Are your life’s goals in common? What drives him/her?

Pray: Lord, thank You for Your mighty Word. It’s a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Thank You for giving us a dose of reality and helping us see your perfect love behind your Word. Please help us evaluate the areas of our lives that need to change. Help us to be faithful to You and Your Word. Give us discernment and direction to proceed with the marriage, if it’s in Your plans for us. Amen.

We're so glad you decided to read through this study with us. We pray the Lord used it to work in your life.

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