The Men We Need by Brant HansenSample

Own Your Choices

To properly keep and protect our garden—the people and things around us that need us to grow up—we can’t be blame shifters as Adam was in Genesis 3.

Since masculinity is about the taking of responsibility, it means squarely owning up to our own failures and the things we need to do. You have the responsibility of guarding your heart. You have the say in whether you will allow God to shape who you are becoming. No one else will do this for you.

Remember Judas? He was in Jesus’ inner circle. He had the best teacher of all time right there with him. He had the best counselor ever, the best leader, the best spiritual shepherd. He saw miracles firsthand. But he wasn’t transformed. That’s on him.

Jesus tells a story about three servants who were given money to invest while the master was away, and when the master came back, two of them had multiplied his money. The other didn’t. Instead, he offered excuses. It’s clear from the story that all of us have a responsibility for how we conduct our lives. (See Matthew 25:14­-30.)

This is not bad news. It’s wonderful. It means that if you intend to be the man God created you to be and the man we need you to be, you have the means to do so. That goal is not out of reach. It’s not up to others.

I love this quote from habit expert James Clear: “A profitable business is never a choice, it is a series of choices. A fit body is never a choice, it is a series of choices. A strong relationship is never a choice, it is a series of choices.”

Your choices matter. Yes, some of your choices will be selfish, immature, and foolish. But own them. Learn from them. Continue to bring your attention back to God and watch how he changes you over time to become the sort of person who more naturally chooses the right things, the wise things.

Those are the things that give life to you and everyone else in your garden.

What is something you are trying to change in your life with a choice, or with trying to change someone else, when change might only come through a series of choices on your part?