Presence MattersSample

At 18 years old, Eunice experienced an unexpected pregnancy, causing her to float between friends’ couches, no longer welcome in her parents’ house. The stress of working two jobs and paying bills was more than she knew how to handle. Eunice often wished the baby growing inside her would disappear. She even tried to free herself from the pregnancy, punching her stomach until it left black and blue bruises, but the baby still wiggled and hiccupped inside her. When her due date arrived, the birth was complicated, and without access to quality medical care, she nearly bled out. Even before his birth, Eunice and her new son, Lamonte, had experienced significant trauma.

As a new mom, Eunice needed money for diapers and formula. Lacking choices, she would leave Lamonte home alone for hours while she worked, although always with toys, snacks, and a blanket. It was working as far as she could tell; Lamonte never seemed to cry. Knowing the boy was being left alone for hours, the neighbors called children's services, and Eunice watched in shock as the social worker rushed her baby to the hospital while yelling about “dehydration.” Eunice soon learned her son would be placed in foster care. Her immediate thought was, He’s probably better off without me.

Now a teenager, Lamonte wonders about his mother and why she hadn’t wanted him. He struggles in school and often skips classes for days at a time. He’s a regular drug user and scares himself with how often he turns to alcohol. People comment that he “has a chip on his shoulder” and “should be grateful for the people who care for him.” What they don’t know is there has been a lot of them—18 different foster homes, 18 different sets of rules, 18 different “parents” telling him in one way or another to “grow up” and “act his age.” Lamonte finally decides he is better off alone and keeps people at arm’s length in his life.

Trauma passes down from one generation to the next. It’s being repeated, in one form or another, in hundreds of millions of lives every day. It’s the effect of living in a broken and fallen world.

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Trauma is the work of a thief who comes to steal and kill and destroy the world God intended for goodness, beauty, and life to the full (John 10:10).

-- Trauma steals physical, emotional, and psychological safety.

-- Trauma kills permanency and predictability.

-- Trauma destroys well-being and derails all areas of development.

Trauma’s destructive reach doesn’t stop there.

• The brain develops differently and struggles to process memory, emotions, language, and judgment.
• The body’s development is delayed, impacting growth, illness, the senses, and even genetic expression.
• Belief systems become warped to include thoughts like “I’m damaged,” “I’m powerless,” or “I’m worthless.”
• Behavior becomes unpredictable, disruptive, and antisocial.
• Relationships are characterized by an inability to trust or to set healthy boundaries.

Trauma’s destructive hand will touch everyone somehow, yet there is hope because trauma is not the end of the story.

God is not overwhelmed by the statistics, nor is He wringing His hands wondering what to do with this mess. He is not powerless against the work of the thief. He is seated firmly on His throne and actively at work right this moment. He stirs up and equips His people with the compassion and resources to bring hope, restoration, and healing to children, teens, and adults experiencing pain due to trauma.

God invites us to be a part of the stories of hope and redemption He is writing in the darkest of places. Yes, take hope! Even the darkness is not dark to Him (Psalm 139:1–2).

Trauma-Informed Tip: The first goal of a person who is becoming trauma-informed is to understand the life-altering impact of trauma. Because trauma, especially in early childhood, impacts the brain and typical development, a child's chronological age and developmental stage may not be in sync. A child might be chronologically ten years old but developmentally more like a five-, six-, or seven-year-old. So, to avoid frustration for both you and the child, set your expectations to align with a child’s developmental age.

PRAYER: Lord, we are so grateful for Your healing power. Give us hope to believe we can reach for Your light during darkness. Amen.

1. Where have I seen trauma in my life or the life of someone I know? What might have been its impact?
2. How have I seen God’s light in circumstances that felt dark? How did I know it was Him?

What behaviors do I see in someone else that could result from trauma in their life?