Believe The Truth About God

When I was in college, I went through a horrific experience that made me doubt God’s love and protection over my life. I hit rock bottom the night I was raped, and it left me wondering how I could recover or trust God again. He claimed to love me and could have stopped this traumatic event, but He didn’t. He is all-powerful and all-knowing, so He could have put someone in my path to help, but He didn’t. I couldn’t understand why God didn’t fulfill His promise to protect me.

I went to the book of Psalms: “God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble” (46:1). God hadn’t been my refuge that night. Instead, it felt as though He’d forsaken me. He allowed me to be defiled. Did I do something wrong? Why didn’t it feel like He was the loyal God others claimed Him to be throughout the Bible?

The truth was that I had little prior experience with trauma and was left confused about who God was. The fact that God didn’t show up in some way when I needed Him most felt like the biggest betrayal of my life. I felt unloved, unseen, uncared for, and unknown. While all those feelings are valid after a traumatic event, they reveal something deeper.

I misunderstood the powerful nature of God. I forgot my place in life and sank under the weight of it all. Miraculously though, I kept talking with God.

He started showing me the correlation between my pain and being crucified with Him. This truth became so powerful. “Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows” (Isa. 53:4). He carried my sin and shame on that cross and my grief and sorrows. He bore for you and for me: sickness, death, relational issues, abuse, anything that people do to us, anything that life brings, and our personal sin.

I had not grasped that on the cross, He also experienced all the pain that I would walk through in my life. Knowing that He shares in my sufferings lets me unite with Him in the hope He secured for me. As I searched for Him, Scripture started making more sense, and I saw glimpses of His character as I read. This previously far-off God was slowly becoming my Comforter, Provider, and loyal Father.

Prayer: Thank You for being the only sure thing when my world seems to be crashing down around me. Help me to always trust Your character over my own feelings.