Through the Eyes of Hope - 7 Days of HopeSample

Character vs. Circumstances

"Does God determine the course of our spiritual walk or do our circumstances?"

The minute Christian was born, he was whisked away from me. His wails broke my heart, but the doctors had to quickly remove the amniotic bands from Christian's face and stitch me up. Before I could see his face, he was rushed to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).

We were left with zero answers and no baby to cuddle. I wanted to feel his skin as he lay on my chest, his heart beating in rhythm with my own. I wanted to breathe in his fresh newborn scent, to count his toes and let his fingers curl around mine. I wanted to nurse him, to allow my body to nourish his. I wanted to enjoy him. But he was four stories down, surrounded by nurses and doctors in a plastic protective warmer, covered with wires and tubes. Where were the debut Facebook pictures of us holding him? Where were the balloons? Where was the celebration? Just hearing someone say "congratulations" would have added a different perspective.

We waited for answers, but the doctors couldn't give us any. They simply didn't know. Christian's cleft palate case was one of the worst they'd ever seen; there was no way to prepare us for the diagnosis. In the midst of the despair, we had to make a choice. Does God determine the course of our spiritual walk or do our circumstances? For a while circumstances defined mine.

In the dark days that followed, we found out more and more about Christian's condition, and I found myself more and more angry at God. Ultimately what I realized, however, is that I was weak because I wasn't allowing God to get near my heart. I wasn't listening.

Christian was not my burden; he was my blessing. It was as if God said to me, "Christian is My love for you on display." I'll never forget those words He pressed into my heart. The anger evaporated. I had no idea what we were in store for, how many surgeries, doctor's visits, and therapies we would undergo. I definitely didn't know how I was going to survive the extreme hatred that bubbled forth from strangers when they saw my son. And yet, from that day on, and still to this day, that anger never returned.

I prayed for God to spare my child's life while I was pregnant. He did. Christian was a living, breathing answer to prayer.

How is God working on your character right now?

Questions for Reflection:

• What circumstances in your life have made you fearful or angry lately?
• Write down ways you've seen God work through the storms in your life in the past. How do these reminders encourage you as you walk through your circumstances right now?
• How has God grown your character and belief in Him despite hard times?