Weights, Worries & WearinessSample

GUILT WEIGHTS

Have you ever found yourself being manipulated – perhaps even by the use of flattery – into picking up responsibilities (weights) that don’t belong to you? Some relationships can become toxic, especially when guilt tactics are used by one person to pull the other into behaviour that is unhealthy or damaging. For example, think of statements like ‘If you love me, you will …’ or ‘As a Christian, you should be…’.In situations like this, you may doubt your worth or believe that it’s your responsibility to earn your value in the eyes of others. This can result in developing people-pleasing tendencies and, ultimately, it makes you even more vulnerable to the manipulation of others.

Guilt weights are damaging to relationships because they can cause the one carrying the guilt to become bitter. Guilt weights can also lead to depression and despair, especially if they’re driven by the lie of the enemy that you continually fail in what you set out to do and, therefore, you’re not good enough. Scripture is clear in Philippians 2:12–13 in that we are called to work out our own salvation. 2 Thessalonians 3:10 is also very clear about the fact that we are to take ownership of our responsibilities. On Day 4, we will unpack what it looks like to create healthy boundaries – especially when people try to influence you into picking up their weights.

For now, take some time to consider the weights that you’re carrying. Are there weights that do not belong to you, that you need to put down? Use the reflective questions below to help you to discern this space:

• Are there people in your world who you find yourself walking away from feeling more drained than energised?
• Do you feel manipulated into responsibilities that you know don’t belong to you?
• Do you find it difficult to say ‘no’, and if so, why do you fear saying ‘no’?
• If you let someone down, do you fear losing the relationship?
• Do you feel that you need to maintain a standard of performance in order to be accepted by God?

PRAY

Lord, thank you that my worth has already been determined by your sacrifice on the cross. Help me to ground my value in this truth. Show me the spaces in my life that are driven by guilt weights, and that causes me to pick up responsibilities that don’t belong to me. Give me the courage and grace to learn how to say ‘no’ in love. Amen.