Honey, We Need To TalkSample

We Need to Talk About Our Emotional Intimacy

I’ve spent the last thirty years observing thousands of couples and how they communicate with one another. What have I discovered about how couples communicate? When it comes to intimacy, one partner works hard to get it, and the other partner works hard to resist it.

It’s the same old communication problem that has plagued every couple since Adam and Eve: the woman presses for closeness, and the man resists her. She works her crowbar, and he keeps his clam shut. She tries to get him to open up and share, and he keeps everything inside.

I have a simple solution to the clam/crowbar predicament.

Have three thirty-minute Couple Talk Times each week. Each weekend, sit down together and schedule these for the upcoming week. Talking about one topic in one sitting will never get you intimacy. Talking about one topic in three sessions, with both of you doing further processing in between settings, will get you intimacy.

I want you to believe and embrace something right now: virtually all of your emotional intimacy will occur in these thirty-minute Couple Talk Times. You can connect in a conversation only when you escape life and its distractions. True connection happens only under these conditions.