When Your Way Isn't WorkingSample

Check Your Connection - Day 2

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” (John 15:9)

Over the years, my wife has made a concerted effort to help me better identify whatever emotions I might be feeling in a particular moment. Ironically, I don’t ever remember her asking me how I feel about understanding my feelings. She knows though that I typically just have one word to capture all my emotions. That word is the word fine. Fine tends to be my go-to answer when describing how I feel about anything, and not to be defensive, but I don’t think I’m the only person of my gender who uses the word fine as an umbrella term for all kinds of unknown and unrecognized feelings. My spectrum of emotions ranges between fine, good, and nah. That’s about it.

To help me better identify my emotions, my wife has this tool she uses that she calls the ‘Wheel of Emotions.’ And for a period of time, the ‘Wheel of Emotions’ hung on our refrigerator at home as a way to help our whole family navigate whatever feelings we might have in a given moment. And so this wheel gives you dozens of options when it comes to identifying how you feel. So instead of just saying, “I feel angry.” The wheel might help you recognize that you actually feel more disrespected or you feel more withdrawn, but the idea is that you can identify whatever emotion you’re feeling in a moment, and by identifying it, you can better understand where it’s coming from and you can also better navigate where it’s inevitably going to take you and the people around you.

And so over the years, here’s what I’ve discovered as a pastor, and I’ve also learned of this personally. There are some common emotions that tend to show up when your way isn’t working. When you’re not living your life deeply connected to Jesus, there are some feelings that begin to surface. Let’s go back to our controlling metaphor and John 15, verse five, where Jesus says, “I am the vine and you are the branches.” When I’m doing things my way, I’ve stopped being the branch and I’m trying to be the vine. In other words, I’m trying to live my life out of my own strength and wisdom. I’m trying to bear fruit from my own efforts. Instead of connecting to Jesus and finding what I need in him, I’m trying to find that in myself, and this approach will eventually not work.

Since Jesus is the vine, and we are the branches, our main job is to stay connected to him. When we are not protecting this connection with Jesus, things never really work out the way that they should.

In fact, when we are doing things our own way, it produces unhealthy results. One of those results that show up in our lives is negative emotions. Some of us are less emotional than others, of course, but anyone who is trying to do things without Jesus will end up feeling out-of-sorts one way or another. This is because we’ve stopped being the branch and are trying to be the vine. We’re trying to find the answer in ourselves, and that just doesn’t produce fruit.

Jesus promises us that apart from him, we can’t do anything, but if we’re the branch and we stay connected to him as the vine, we will bear much fruit.

Unconnected to Jesus, we can’t do anything, but connected to him, we can bear much fruit. So if you’re feeling a little bit discouraged, a little bit frustrated, a little tired and anxious, check your connection to Jesus.

If your emotions signal a disconnection with Jesus, pour out your heart to God. Your circumstances may not instantly change, but your discouragement will be replaced with Jesus’ peace.

Prayer

Lord Jesus, I give my emotions over to You. I want to feel connected to You and to remain in Your love and peace.