Unequally Yoked In Marriage: Challenges And OpportunitiesSample

WHEN YOU'RE CONSIDERING MARRYING A NON-CHRISTIAN

“Love is blind,” says the old familiar proverb. Romantic feelings are rarely logical, predictable, sensible, or controllable. As a result, it’s easy to “fall in love” with someone you would not rationally choose as a marriage partner.

When that happens, it’s time to step back, put some distance between your mind and your emotions. Think carefully about what it might mean to enter into a lifelong union with another person who does not share your deepest convictions about God, the universe, and the meaning of life. It would probably be more difficult than you suppose.

For a sincere and dedicated believer, the Lord’s will is always the bottom line. That’s not to mention that the choice of a lifelong mate is a matter of profound importance. From the Christian viewpoint, it’s second only to that of a person’s relationship with God. The implications should be obvious. If you’re a believer who has become deeply involved in a romantic relationship with a non-Christian, you need to think very carefully about what you’re doing. The challenge you’re facing is bigger than a mere difference of “religious opinion.” It’s a matter of dramatically contrasting worldviews. And when worldviews collide, the results can be devastating for a marital relationship.

All things considered, if you’re involved in a relationship of this nature it would probably be wise to put on the brakes – at least for the time being. Seek wise spiritual counsel before moving ahead. Be humble and listen carefully to the advice of those who know and love you best, especially fellow followers of Christ. You won’t regret it.

Meanwhile, bear in mind that it’s easy to rationalize the situation by telling yourself that your goal is to see your boyfriend or girlfriend come to faith in Christ. The fact of the matter is that “missionary dating” is rarely a good idea. If he or she is ever to have a true relationship with the Lord, it’s going to have to come about apart from a relationship with you. Otherwise, if the two of you end up marrying, you will always wonder whether your partner has chosen to follow Christ out of genuine conviction or simply from a desire to please and be with you.

If you’re really concerned about your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s salvation, there’s a better way to address the issue. Instead of taking matters into your own hands, put him or her in touch with a strong Christian friend who can act as a spiritual mentor. Face the fact that you can’t fill that role yourself. If you try, the romantic element will only cloud the situation and make it harder for you to guard your own heart (Proverbs 4:23).