Raising a Boy to Be a ManSample

Raising a Boy Who Controls His Emotions

One day, my son hit his sister because she took his sunglasses. To teach him his sister was more valuable than things, I ripped the sunglasses out of his hands and shouted, “These are nothing. Your sister is far more valuable than this junk!”

I then snapped his sunglasses in half and threw them on his lap. He was devastated.

Good, I thought to myself. Maybe that will teach him some remorse.

Later, I learned those glasses had been a gift that helped him remember a special time with one of his uncles. Suddenly, I was the one filled with remorse. Any lesson he might have learned about valuing his sister was overshadowed by my uncontrollable display of anger. Ultimately, I was the one who was forced to apologize.

Emotions in and of themselves are not sinful. Jesus wept (John 11:35), felt compassion (Matthew 9:36), and even experienced anger (John 2:13-22) but never sinned. How we handle our anger makes the difference.

Anger over an injustice, like my son hitting his sister, can move us to find positive solutions or make matters worse. Before we can teach our sons to control their emotions, we must first learn to control our own.

Do you struggle to control your anger? What can you do differently to model self-control to your son?