Good To Know: Good Advice For A Better LifeSample

Can you think of someone you enjoy talking to because you always leave feeling like you were really heard? These people have the ability to make you feel valued. Now think about the opposite. Do you know someone who interrupts you mid-sentence, interjecting before you finish your thought? Do you feel as valued when you’re with this person?

We can be so eager to speak, we stop listening and start thinking through our response. Even if the thought is interesting or the advice is good, it’s easy to create a relational divide by making the conversation about our responses, rather than expressing empathy for the other person and hearing their heart.

Solomon gives us clear wisdom in Proverbs about the importance of listening, and it doesn’t involve preparing our immediate response. In fact, it’s just the opposite. It is “foolish and shameful” to answer before we listen, really listen.

Connecting with someone isn't based solely on saying the right things, especially if it's at the wrong time. God has given us the ability to connect by listening, but we have to be listening to understand, not listening to respond.

Even if the intention is good, let’s hit “pause” on our desire to solve every problem, have the best answer, or sound smart. Instead, listen for the heart behind what someone is saying. This form of active listening is one way to show someone you genuinely care.

Let’s practice this skill. Listen to someone until they completely stop talking. Then take a pause. It’s okay if not every moment is filled with words. After you take the pause, start simple:

• “I hear you.”
• “I’m so sorry.”
• “That must be hard.”
• “You’re doing a great job.”

Maybe God is trying to teach us something about empathy and connection, only we’re too busy filling the silence to be able to hear him. 

Baylee Mauro

Questions for Reflection:

• Think of a few people you find easy to talk to. What characteristics of conversations with them are appealing?

• How would your conversations be different if you took a second to pray that your priority would be to intentionally understand, not respond? Give it a try this week.