Braving ChangeSample

The Need to Grieve: Believe It or Not, Grief is a Gift

Sometimes it's just easier in times of massive change or painful loss to focus on everyone and everything else because it doesn't feel like the right time or the safe thing to do to go into a place of grieving just yet. We may actually remain in a place of denial, doing, and/or performing because burying the pain of grieving when we don't want to deal with it becomes like a drug. We become addicted to it like it's a substance that's saving us, yet it's slowly becoming a destructive place to live, ravaging our heart and soul, while the grief is still stored up in our bodies just waiting to come out. And trust me, it will come out somewhere, some way, sometime, and usually when we least expect it. This is why, in times of great change, transition, loss, and grief, we have to be gentle with ourselves, allowing time and space for us to move through grief, even when we wish it would just be over and done with so that we can get on with our lives. The truth is, we'll never be the same after certain moments in time, and grief is Biblical and brings wholeness and life, even though it’s painful to walk through.

If you're not convinced that grief can cause us to grow and heal, let's look at it from a Biblical perspective, starting with Jesus. Not only did He grieve, but He bore all of our grief. The prophet Isaiah foretold it in Isaiah 53. "Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering" (v. 4). He was also fully God and fully human. He walked a mile in our shoes when it came to experiencing loss, pain, and grief. He felt things deeply. Remember when Jesus publicly wept at Lazarus's tomb in John 11:35? Or the funeral procession in Luke 7:12-13, where Jesus's "heart went out" to a widow in grief who had lost her only son, "and he said, 'Don't cry'"? What about when He wept as He approached Jerusalem, aching for His people to repent and turn to Him, as He prophetically saw the coming destruction of the Holy City after His Resurrection (Luke 19:41-44)? Or when He was overwhelmed with grief and fear in the Garden of Gethsemane: "Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and told His disciples, 'Sit here while I go over there and pray.’ And He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee with Him and began to be grieved and distressed. Then He said to them,

'My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me'" (Matt. 26:36-38, NASB).

Jesus shows us that grief is part of the human experience.

Questions and Prayer

• Question: Where do you need to give yourself permission to grieve, and how will you go about it as you remember that God comforts those who mourn?
• Prayer: Father, I feel so many emotions, it's hard to pinpoint where to even begin. As David prayed in Psalm 6, "I am worn out from sobbing. All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief…” I need You, God. My walls have been broken down. I can no longer fix the problems around me, and I can't go back in time. I am at the end of my rope, and I need You to heal my shattered heart. Forgive me for not letting You in, for not allowing You to comfort me. Guide me in my brokenness and hold me with Your Righteous and Tender Hand. I trust You to heal me and make me whole again, even when I do not have the answers to all of my why questions. I am safe within Your Arms, and in that, it is well with my soul.