DREAM CHANGER

Brandon Duncan, Wisconsin

AS A YOUNG child, I was in constant fear of my stepdad; he physically abused everyone in my family. I think that was why I liked watching gangster shows on television. It was my “escape.” I would dream about becoming a “bad man;” then no one would ever hurt us again.

As early as age nine, I smoked pot and tried alcohol. It numbed the constant fear and enhanced my self-esteem. I also started stealing anything I could get my hands on. Between the drugs, alcohol, and stealing, I was making myself a prime candidate to become involved in a gang/criminal lifestyle.

As I got older I felt powerful when I broke the law, but it eventually caught up with me. I was convicted of armed robbery, burglary, credit card fraud, driving under the influence, and possession of drugs. I faced hundreds of years in prisons in several states. I actually served fifteen years inside some of America’s bloodiest prisons.

Prison was hell. I was terrified every day, and especially at night. Each morning I woke up full of hate, rage, and violence, and went to bed with fear. But a few years after I was sentenced, a Christian man came to visit. He was an ex-inmate.

How did he make the crossover from darkness to light? I wondered.

He patiently explained to me that Jesus died for my sins and that I could have new life in him. Longing to change, I prayed the salvation prayer. But the hateful lifestyle was ingrained in me and instead of embracing Jesus and his Word, I quickly chose to go back to darkness.

My rage escalated toward those prisoners who were incarcerated for abusing children. One day, when a new inmate arrived who had violated a child, I snapped and almost beat him to death. I wish I could say I was remorseful, but I wasn’t. Due to my violent outburst, however, I was moved to another part of the prison where the hatred was even worse. I became so despondent during those months, thoughts of suicide plagued my mind constantly.

All I had for a pillow was my Bible. One desperate day I opened it up and began reading the red letters. I knew those were the words of Jesus. I read his soothing messages for hours every day. Gradually I started to change. I actually began to dream about the future, something I had never done before, and to set goals, too. I was actually getting excited about getting out. I even had hope I could get my family back in my life again.

Then, one day, all those red-letter words came together to convict me.