Esther: Daring Faith for Such a Time as This Sample

Who we surround ourselves with is one of the most defining ingredients of our lives. We live and breathe not just as individuals but as parts of families, friendship circles, churches, groups, and communities. Since it’s hard not to become like those we spend time with, we must choose our friends wisely. My closest community is never hesitant to remind me to die to my selfish desires, take the high road, choose love, be prayerful, and make decisions that bring God glory. These are the underpinnings of their lives and help shape my own.

Two days ago, my friend Mary Katharine told me I needed to trust God with something I was trying to manage myself. It rankled me every which way. But here I am, two days later, the better for her counsel. If we’re around godly people, it does more than rub off—it sinks in. And the reverse is just as true. The words and countenances of others influence us, and with that indefinable aura they bring into the room. Are you around those who display the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) or those who spread the fumes of their selfish actions (Galatians 5:16-21)? As we’ll see today, our closest companions shape the people we are and will become, for better or worse.

Esther 5:9-14 is a perfect example of someone giving bad advice to someone with a bad attitude. Before we think that Haman and Zeresh are the only ones who do this kind of thing, we should realize that we do this, too. A friend gets hurt by someone, and to help her get even we tell her how high she should build the metaphorical gallows. Whether we’re on the receiving end of advice that stirs our anger or giving that kind of advice, Scripture offers us a better way. Consider the example of Abigail from 1 Samuel.

First, some context: Abigail was a wise and able woman married to a wicked and violent man named Nabal (1 Samuel 25). King David sent servants to Nabal to ask for provisions for his men. Prior to his request, David had treated Nabal’s servants well and expected to be treated with equal kindness. Nabal not only refused to give provision to David’s men but also mocked David in the process. David didn’t love this, to say the least. He instructed four hundred of his men to strap on their swords and wipe out Nabal, his family, and servants. When Abigail heard about David’s plot, she mounted her donkey with a load of gifts, but more importantly, with a load of life-saving counsel.

In 1 Samuel 25:23-39, Abigail pleaded with David to turn away from vengeance and instead trust the Lord. David accepted her counsel and blessed her discernment, leaving Nabal to the Lord instead of exacting needless bloodshed.

When David heard that Nabal was dead, he blessed God for championing his cause and for restraining him from evil. God used Abigail to hold David back from irreversible consequences. What a gorgeous description of the power of godly counsel, which restrains us from doing what we are sure to regret and compels us toward mercy, grace, and trust in God’s matchless sovereignty to accomplish His purposes. Zeresh and Haman’s advisors counseled him in the opposite direction. “Show no restraint!” they exclaimed. “Build the gallows as high as you can!” they chanted. “Eliminate your enemy, so you can be happy!”

Proverbs 15:31-33 says, “One who listens to life-giving rebukes will be at home among the wise. Anyone who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever listens to correction acquires good sense.” We may think we want friends who tell us to build death traps for those who wound us, but what we need are life-giving rebukes when we’re headed in the wrong direction. We need people who will tell us the truth about God, ourselves, and the world.

It’s easy to miss the practical implications of Esther 5:14 because of how extreme it is. But most of us can agree it’s also easy to encourage loved ones to seek revenge or nurse bitterness. We don’t want to be accomplices by stirring up division in another person’s sin. We want to be champions of healing and wholeness. This doesn’t mean we cover our eyes to injustice or ignore wrongdoing. It means we encourage with the truths of Scripture, direct one another to Jesus, and trust that God can mete out vengeance and justice in His time (Hebrews 10:30-31).

Read Esther 5:14 and take inventory of the counselors in your life. Are these individuals quick to encourage revenge, or are they champions of healing and wholeness?