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Sex in Marriage: The Basics—Part 1Sample

Sex in Marriage: The Basics—Part 1

DAY 3 OF 5

Rewriting Your Beliefs

Devotional Content:

Most us of give little, if any, thought to how we look at sex and how that affects us as we head into marriage. Whether we realize it or not, we each have a belief system about sex and what it is supposed to be in marriage. Obviously, one of the main influences for each of us is our family of origin. Did your family talk about sex or not? If it did, what was said, and by whom? It it did not, what message did that send to you?  

Today, as we grow from childhood to adulthood we are likely to get mixed messages, which come from a myriad of sources. We hear about “information overload” and that description definitely fits the information we get about sex. Most of the people I talk to can list all the places where they learned about sex but very few include the church! If the church was part of their sex education, it often was taught that “sex is bad, stay away from it.”  

The truth is that sex was created by God. It is a gift to us from Him. As we read in Song of Solomon, sex between a husband and a wife is to be enjoyed. The only boundary God gave was for sex to be reserved for the marriage relationship. Why? Because God created us and knows us far better than we will ever know ourselves. He knows full well the consequences of having sex outside of a marriage relationship. The boundary was for our well being, not to deprive us of something. That’s it. That is God’s plan. It is simple and makes sense. For some reason, man and woman have repeatedly tried to rewrite the “rules” about sex, and look where it has gotten us today.  

Think through all the things you have believed about sex. Maybe even take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left side, write down God’s plan for sex that we just talked about. On the right side write down everything you were taught or believed about sex that was different than God’s plan. My guess is that there is a lot more writing on the right side of your paper than the left side. Now this is where change can begin to take place. One by one draw a line through everything that is not God’s plan. Pray that as you cross them off your sheet of paper, God will renew your mind and firmly implant His plan of sex in marriage.

Today’s Challenge

Share what you were taught about sex in your family of origin.

Going Deeper:

1. How has your family of origin affected your view of sex today?

2. What were the negative messages about sex you received as you were growing up?

3. What have been the sexual frustrations for each of you in your marriage?

4. What is your part in rewriting your beliefs about sex in marriage?



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About this Plan

Sex in Marriage: The Basics—Part 1

Sex is a big part of marriage. There are some basic understandings and beliefs that will help you have a great sex life with your spouse. This plan by Dr. Kim Kimberling will help you learn about sex in marriage and how to honor your spouse. This is a great reading plan to do together as a couple.

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