Parenting On Purpose (Part 2)Muestra

Day 2: Embrace Natural Consequences

Jalene: As a Parent, it’s tempting at times to want to shield our children from natural consequences. To spare them may even “feel” like the loving thing to do. And that may even be true if it’s a hot stove we’re talking about, or playing in the street. However, I would challenge that natural consequences are a parent’s best friend. Hebrews 12:11 says “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Recently my daughter-in-law told me that one of her five boys, Maverick (four years old), kept climbing on the outer ledge of a shallow water fountain where the water was freezing cold. He had been warned of what could happen, but he did it one more time… and fell in. The long walk back to the car was cold and unpleasant, but you can bet next time they walked past the fountain, there was a better result. 

Natural consequences give us, as parents, an opportunity to remove ourselves from the role of disciplinarian, but still come alongside them to gently reiterate a lesson learned. 

Macy: Growing up, I learned a lot from natural consequences. When I forgot my homework at home, I knew it wasn’t my parent’s responsibility to bring it to me. Sure they might have been gracious at times, but we knew not to expect them to rescue us. That’s why, when I turned sixteen and got my first speeding ticket (a hefty one, at that) I knew it was my responsibility to pay for it, not my parents. When I told them, they simply asked “Well, what are you going to do about it?”. I had to grapple with my options of how to pay it, because I definitely didn’t have enough money at the time. I could start a Go Fund Me (I only raised five dollars before my parents vetoed that idea), I could go to court and ask for community service (I missed my court date), or I could quickly get a job. I did get a job as a barista and slowly payed off my ticket on my own. Looking back I now realize that having to deal with natural consequences in different situations as a kid prepared me to be more responsible in adulthood.

Action Step: Embrace natural consequences when possible and don’t rescue too quickly. Allow your children to become great problem solvers.