The Greatest Secret: How Being God's Adopted Children Changes EverythingMuestra

Adoption – Building prayer, security and trust   

As a foster carer, I have seen many times the way that broken and disordered attachment radically impacts the way that children in our care react when we seek to offer them stability and security, love and affection, discipline and comfort.  As a Christian I have seen the way that broken and disordered attachment can impact our relationship with God too [1].

Prayer is one of God’s primary mechanisms for us to deepen and explore our relationship with him. Prayer is the way that we spend time together, converse together, find comfort, guidance, reassurance. It is the means by which we build trust, intimacy and depth in the strange new relationship we find ourselves in. It is the safe place, the secure base where our broken attachment with God, and all of its knock-on effects can get reordered and repaired. 

The Lord’s Prayer is not a spell, a ritual or a formality, but a reframing tool given to us by God for our flourishing. Like a parent helping a child find the words to express their deepest feelings, so  here, God graciously encourages and enables us to begin talking to him about the stuff that really matters – our relationships, our fears, our daily struggles, our temptations, our longings, our future, our identity. Jesus puts words to our most basic needs: our physical needs, our relational needs, our ethical needs, our spiritual needs. 

When we put ourselves in the shoes of an adopted child, learning to trust a good father who is desperate to provide the world for us, prayer is not just a task to be done, or an order to be obeyed, it is a lifeline to the most safe and permanent relationship we could ever wish for. Communication with God, even of the most repetitive sort, can help begin to rewire our brains, overcome the hurts of the past, and build an intimacy into the future. 

The Spirit of adoption can burst your prayer life out of the formalities. He can ground your prayer life in the reality of all your needs and your weaknesses. He can fuel your prayer life as your eyes are opened to the needs of those around you. He can gradually shift your prayer life so that you start to seek God’s glory and his kingdom rather than your own comfort and agenda. And he can bond you with the Father who loves you, helping you know his security, compassion and provision. 

[1] See http://www.mbird.com/2016/10/attachment-theory-and-your-relationship-with-god/