Becoming A Yes Sister By Angelia WhiteMuestra

Day 2 

Confronting the Nos

For most of my life, I woke up, did what others expected of me, went to bed, and repeated the sequence the next day. I loved my family and did my best to obey what I heard from the church pulpit. I have always valued kindness, both as the giver and the recipient. But I was functioning on empty because my spirit had dried up from unkind, unsafe input from others, even people I trusted to love me. Childhood trauma had crippled my expectations for myself, and those early wounds were reflected throughout my adult life as I continued to accrue fresh battle scars. 

I call those wounds—old and new—nos. They embody all the negative feedback that drags us down and makes us not take our hopes seriously, much less prioritize or pursue them. I did not know my heart could heal and be filled. And I certainly did not understand how much God wanted those blessings for me. 

When I truly wanted change and wanted it enough to look honestly at my problems, a desire to do the hard work of transformation always requires grew within me. I experienced transformation as I learned to nurture the positive and expel the negative, including self-pity and self-criticism. A negative outlook will never attract deep relationships or a joyful spirit. I learned to choose a positive attitude despite my circumstances.

Before receiving the gift found in Yes Sisters, it’s important we take an honest look in the mirror, open our hearts, cultivate an inviting spirit, have the courage to be vulnerable, and welcome the unexpected that sisterhood invariably brings. We don’t transform in just one day or without effort, but it all starts with us. 

We also need to risk saying yes to ourselves. Dare to trust that yeses are possible for you. Each of us must be our own Yes Sister before true, deep sister-friendships are possible. Dealing with our own messiness releases us from its power. 

What “nos” are holding you back from the fullness of God’s plan for you? Write a prayer asking God to heal these wounds in your life and make them beautiful in His time.