7 Day Devotional for the Stepparent Muestra

Partnering is about strengthening your coupleness so you can love and lead your children well together. You need to partner in two ways. 

First, you need a strong marriage. A solid, reliable relationship is what fuels both partners’ ability to do the work of parenting and in the case of the stepparent, empowers them to be part of the authority team. Parenting is hard work; it takes a lot out of us. What spurs us to invest so much of ourselves in our children is, for many, a relationship with the Divine (who continuously pours love into our hearts), and a healthy marriage.

Secondly, you must partner around your roles in parenting and play to each other’s strengths. Biological parents have a clearly defined role and relationship with their children. On day one, stepparents have neither. They are substitute parents. And without the biological parent’s support and backing, they may be unable to parent children well. Which brings us to the subject of child behavior management. 

People sometimes confuse discipline and punishment. Discipline is about training a child. It’s about building their character and teaching them the ethics of life. Punishment is about correction and consequence. It is a negative form of discipline. Stepparents can on day one in the family slow-cooker offer discipline to a child, but should punish sparingly until a clear bond and trust is established.

When biological parents take the lead on handing down punishment to a child, they are playing to their strength and partnering with the stepparent by not putting them in a tough situation. When they communicate to their children that the stepparent “is in charge while I’m gone,” they are giving the sub a chance to be successful. And when they gently insist that their teenager act respectful, they are giving the substitute parent a chance to be viewed as an authority in the home.

Over time, stepparents can clarify their relationship with stepchildren and gain tremendous influence and authority in their life. In most cases, as your relationship deepens with a child, so will your role in their life.