Fighting for Love in a Porn Affected MarriageMuestra

Looking back, I feel more than a little sad that I wasted so much time believing that my husband was able to keep his porn use in a little box, entirely separate from our relationship.  It wasn’t until we got into recovery that I began to understood the full extent to which porn was affecting our marriage.  

In Matthew 19:4 we are told that husband and wife become one flesh. Of course, my husband filling his mind with toxic porn was affecting all aspects of our relationship.  To expect otherwise was not only self-destructive, it was unbiblical. 

In the battle against porn, we wives really do need to pick up our swords and enter the fray. Not only because we have skin in the game, but because when “two become one” we are uniquely positioned to help our husbands.  When my husband was enslaved to a porn addiction, I was the only one who knew and cared that he was drowning in that particular sin. When he was unable to reach out for help, he needed me to throw him a lifeline. 

Don’t participate in the fruitless works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what is done by them in secret. (Ephesians 5:11-12)

By bringing your marriage to the foot of the cross and into the light, you invite Jesus—He who is in the Light—to cleanse, heal, and restore both of you. Recovery from porn addiction is about so much more than eliminating porn. It is about discovering your identity as much-loved children of God and experiencing a new profound level of trust and intimacy in your marriage.