After Doubt By A. J. SwobodaMuestra

Day One: Deconstruction and Doubt

Scripture: Psalm 145:18, 1 Timothy 1:18-19, 2:1-7  

What is deconstruction? Roughly speaking, deconstruction is the dismantling of anything that’s been constructed. Theological deconstruction is the process of dismantling one’s accepted beliefs. It is one’s painful journey of questioning, critiquing, and reevaluating previous faith commitments upon which we relied. And, it’s a reorientation to them—what we would call reconstruction. Back to that later. 

Deconstruction is the new norm in our world today. The challenge each of us face in our deconstruction—and what we may face—is walking the tightrope between becoming our own person and honoring our past. Cultures, it seems, are always tempted to reject this tension and emphasize either honoring or leaving. The biblical world was an honor world. The Western world is a leaving world. In the honor society of Jesus’ time, culture and religion preserved and protected the past at all costs. Honoring family and tradition was prioritized over everything. This is why Jesus comments, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town” (Mark 6:4). 

Western culture has swung to the opposite extreme. The contemporary Western world—framed by the Enlightenment—is a leaving culture that considers it liberating to set aside the past and tradition. Things are now backward. A hometown in the time of Jesus gave no honor to the prophet. In our time, a prophet gives no honor to their hometown. This is the framework of our deconstruction age. Jesus found a creative way through these tensions. So can we.

For those walking through doubt or deconstruction, that tension of leaving and honoring is critical. Every New Testament letter assumes the churches harbored big questions about the Christian faith. They didn’t have all the answers they needed. Storms were raging. But storms were—for Paul—very different from having a shipwrecked faith. 

We too often assume that doubts, questions and critiques of one’s own faith are the same as losing it. But this deception betrays the ways Christians have been following Jesus for two thousand years. Even the New Testament recognizes the difference between a Judas Iscariot and a Peter—both of whom turned their back on Jesus. The difference? One came back. The other gave up. There’s a fundamental difference between doubt and unbelief in Scripture. 

Peter’s doubt wasn’t the end of his faith. Why should it be ours? Peter’s crisis of faith eventually matured into an even deeper longing and love for Christ. Here is the mystery: to struggle with one’s faith is often the surest sign we actually have one.

Is it possible to question one’s faith without losing it?