FamilyMuestra
Dealing with Our Labels
Often we are not very good at communicating our feelings. We are not precise in our words and very often resort to labeling everyone. This is, we ought not to say ‘You’re bad’ or ‘You’re stupid' when we comment on something someone has done; we should not give such labels on a person’s overall character. Instead, we can say ‘What you did was wrong. Perhaps you could do it this way.' Often we treat others the way we were brought up, and it is good to reflect on the words we use daily when talking to our family and coworkers.
My husband used to chide me often for labeling my children, myself, and almost everything. My siblings and I were used to being labeled negatively very often at home and at school. I lived under the labels said over me and I could not get away from them. So, I continued the vicious cycle with everyone I came in contact with. I took stock of what my husband said to me and realized that it was true. I began to analyze my communication especially with my kids and stopped myself whenever the distinction between the child and the action was distorted in my mind.
When we put negative labels on anyone, we create a climate where positive change cannot happen. People constantly fight feelings arising out of being labeled dumb, fat, ugly, hopeless, and much more. We need to remind them and ourselves that God’s labels for us are that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps 139:14), that we are precious (Is 43:4), and that God loves us (Jn 3:16). Our day-to-day conversation, family prayers, and thanksgiving have to be centered on this.
When people know that they are worthy, they become teachable. They must be taught by our words and actions, that every day they must live in light of who they truly are. They are not what the old negative labels say – they are Christ’s!
Lord, help me to watch how I correct others. Keep me from using labels that I have lived under. Remind me of Your label of love for me and my family. Amen.
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In this much-needed study, Pauline Warjri talks about managing our relationships with everyone in the family - spouse, children, parents and how not to let anything come between us, especially our career. She gives practical tips from her own life on how to learn from our mistakes, build bridges, sort out differences and communicate more meaningfully.
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