Promises, Peace, & Journal Prompts for Fear & AnxietyMuestra

Fear of Abandonment

I woke up with tears on my face. It was pitch black, in the middle of the night. My dream was so vivid and my reaction so visceral. Another close friend had moved away.

But it was real. My best friend had just moved and the dream had been about how I was feeling about it all. The tears kept falling. My heart felt so alone. Another friend really had moved away.

We have lived in a small college town for over twenty years. This means many people come and go. They come for education, for master's degrees, and for doctorates. They land in our community, and we end up becoming close. But then they get to use their degree and go where a job calls.

The amount of going-away parties we have hosted is unreal. I’ve lost count.

So when the fear of abandonment creeps in, my anxiety rises.

Maybe for you, it’s the death of a loved one. Or maybe you were uprooted in your formative years. Maybe it’s one tragic event or a slow burn of many small moments together.

However this fear comes, anxiety comes with it. And so does people-pleasing, so people stay in your life. Or the struggle to find your “tribe,” because you haven’t ever had one. Or your fear of bonding, because they might leave you.

Friend, you are not alone in this fear and anxiety. The psalmists felt this all, too. The writer of Psalm 22 painfully wrote (which was what Jesus quoted as he was dying on the cross):

“My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?
Why are you so far away when I groan for help?
Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer.
Every night I lift my voice, but I find no relief.”

And yet—even though he felt abandoned—the writer was not. God was there, even if the writer didn’t feel Him at the moment.

Later, Psalm 22 says:

“For he has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy.
He has not turned his back on them, but has listened to their cries for help.” - Psalm 22:24-26

Today, when our feelings want to be our engine, let the facts drive our train.

-God is near to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

-God is a good shepherd and you cannot be snatched from His hand (John 10:28-29)

-God did not ignore His own Son’s pain. It was three long days for Jesus, but then the greatest miracle and healing the world has ever known! A resurrection. And God will bring beauty from ashes for you. (Psalm 61:1-4)

Journal Prompt: Think of a time you felt abandoned. Describe how you felt. Now consider a person that feels safe to you. How do you feel around this person? Take a moment to record one Scripture that speaks to you about God never leaving you.

Suggested Practice: Place your hand on your heart and slowly repeat five times, “God will never leave me or forsake me.”