Parenting: Getting It RightMuestra

DEVOTIONAL

The book of Proverbs is written in the voice of a father teaching a son, as was common for the culture in which the book was written. It’s a book that collects wise sayings from the ancient world, a catalog of principles for following God and for living well with other people. Proverbs reveals God’s wisdom on many topics, including parenting.

Today’s reading is a snapshot of what it looks like to raise an independent child. Take a minute and notice everything the parent-narrator expects the child to do. The child will someday: “go on your way” (v. 23); “lie down” and “sleep,” evidently outside the home (v .24); face disaster and ruin (v. 25); be exposed to both the wicked (v. 25) as well as those in need (v. 27); and interact with neighbors (v. 29-30). It’s even hinted that someday, this child will have his own home (v. 33). The overall message is one of preparation for the eventual day when the child will leave home. The parent-narrator is equipping the child to live independently.

As Andy Stanley says in today’s video, parenting for independence is counterintuitive, but oh so important. As parents, we’re often tempted to keep our kids depending directly on us. Our deep love for them, or our fear of what may happen to them outside our home, can sometimes lead us to prevent them from growing independently. Our intuition is to protect and nurture—which is good—but we must also allow them to grow on their own, even at the risk that they might get hurt.

As the writer of Proverbs says in verse 21, “wisdom and understanding,” and “sound judgment and discretion” will keep our children following in the footsteps of God. Every parent will at some point struggle with letting go. When that day comes, lean on these—wisdom, understanding, sound judgment, discretion—and your heavenly parent, who embodies them.

REFLECTION

Parenting for independence doesn’t happen all at once. It is a step-by-step process as the children grow. So, take a minute and think about the age and stage of each of your kids. Name one way you can help each child grow in independence within their stage of life.

Were you parented to live independently? How has your parents’ approach to independence affected you and your parenting?

How has your parents’ approach to independence affected your relationship with them today?

PRAYER

Dear God, thank you for my child/children. My hope is for each child to grow into an adult that loves you and loves other people well. Help me to see the ways that I can foster independence in my children. Guide me as I help them grow toward maturity. Thank you for this incredible gift and responsibility. Amen.