Taking Hold of a Divine Perspective: A 3-Day Marriage Planಮಾದರಿ

Split Vision

"A wise man’s heart guides his mouth." (Proverbs 16:23)

Isn’t it curious how, in the midst of a nasty family argument, we can shake our bad mood the instant the telephone rings or a neighbor knocks on the door? Have you ever been brought up short by a small voice questioning such a sudden turn to peaches and cream after twenty minutes of fire and brimstone? Sometimes, we treat those we love the worst, and kids are quick to recognize this hypocrisy.

Mark Hatfield, a longtime senator from Oregon and the father of four, said his wife once stung him by saying, “I just wish you were as patient with your children as you are with your constituents.” He isn’t alone. We’re all guilty at times of what might be called “split vision”— treating acquaintances with forbearance while losing patience or even heaping contempt on those under our own roof. We assume the worst. We pounce on every shortcoming. We never miss an opportunity to harangue. In the process, we wound the people we care about most.

It’s time we cut one another a little slack at home. If we say our spouses, children, and parents are the most significant people in our lives, we can prove it by showing them the same kindnesses we would bestow on our most honored guests.

Questions for Today . . .

• Am I as patient with people at home as I am with guests and strangers?
• Why do you think you can be so hard on others?
• How can I encourage each other to avoid this kind of “split vision”?

Prayer . . .

Father, open my eyes to see others the way You do. Forgive me for the laziness and selfishness that so easily sour my family relationships. Help me guard my words and actions so that I may be pleasing in Your sight. Amen.

(Excerpted from Dr. James and Shirley Dobson’s book, Night Light for Couples. Used with permission.)

Bonus Content: Taking a Bite Out of Anger

Anger is a natural response when a family member lashes out at you, or situations don’t go the way you expect. In this video, Brenen and Morgan Beeler offer several suggestions to help diffuse heated conflicts. Their insights can greatly improve your family relations.