A New Outlook

by Joyce

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

1 John 4:16 (ESV)

When some people experience rejection, they automatically assume that being rejected means something is wrong with them. They then begin to reject themselves and become people-pleasers, hoping that if they become what everyone else wants them to be, they will be accepted and can then accept themselves.

We spend more time with ourselves than with anyone else, so just think about how miserable we will be if we reject ourselves. I rejected myself until I was in my 40s. I constantly found fault with myself and would have preferred to be anyone but me. I had to learn to accept God’s love for me and learn to love myself. The key to accepting yourself is to believe that God accepts you completely and unconditionally and to receive that love. You may need to grow in some areas, but God will work with you and take care of the areas that need improvement as you mature spiritually in Him.

The next step is to learn to love others as God loves us. We need to love people for who they are, not who we want them to be. When we accept people, they are often inspired to want to change and be better. But when we reject them, they are more likely to resist change. Take it from someone who knows very well. You cannot change people; only God can do that. In addition, you cannot make other people love or accept themselves. But you can pray for them, trusting God to work in their hearts and minds as only He can.

It also helps to remember that hurting people hurt people. This helped me greatly when I realized I needed to forgive my father. There is no doubt my father was a “hurting person,” and that is why he caused so much pain for other people. I have encountered many wounded people in my life and ministry, and very often those people do hurt other people. They act out of their own pain. But we don’t have to inherit bad things from our relatives, because we are co-heirs with Jesus, and we inherit everything He has received from His Father (Romans 8:17). When you receive Jesus, you become part of God’s family, and you receive the same rights and privileges that Jesus has by faith.

It seems unjust to be asked to forgive someone who has deeply wounded you. The person who hurt you may not deserve your forgiveness, but you deserve peace, and you will never have it without forgiveness. Jesus made clear in His Word that forgiving our enemies is something we are expected to do as believers. We are to forgive others just as our heavenly Father forgives us. Jesus paid a high price for us to have our sins forgiven. He paid this price even though we didn’t deserve for Him to do it. If we want to be like our Father in heaven, then we must forgive others their sins against us: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:32 NIV).

I think back on times when I could stay angry with my husband Dave for two or three weeks. Now, I realize how ridiculous my behavior was, but then, I was controlled by my emotions. One day, Dave said, “Wouldn’t it be a shame if Jesus came today, and you had spent your last day on earth angry?” This is a good question for all of us to think about.

I believe forgiveness is the beginning of all the healing our souls need. We need to receive God’s forgiveness and forgive anyone we have anything against if we truly want to be healed.

Adapted from the book Healing the Wounds of Rejection by Joyce Meyer and Ginger Stache. Copyright 2025 by Joyce Meyer and Ginger Stache. Published by FaithWords. All rights reserved.

Study Question: How does it impact you to know that people who are hurting often end up hurting those around them? How could this perspective open a door of forgiveness and healing in your life?

Let’s Pray: “Dear God, teach me how to lead a life filled with love, towards myself and others. And please show me any person in my life I need to forgive, and help me to do so. Help me to have compassion for those who have hurt me and help me to love them, even when it’s hard. In Jesus’ name, amen.”