Searching For Spring By Christine HooverSample

Day Four

Unexpected

Scripture: John 16:33

We cannot expect to change what Jesus has left unfixed for the moment. 

I’ve lived most of my life trying to disprove that statement. I’ve obsessed over perfection like a child attempts over and over to build a tall block tower only to watch it fall each time. 

If I just try harder this time . . .

If I just use a little more willpower . . . 

If I am more exacting with my work . . . 

If I take more control . . . 

If I just do a little bit more . . . 

If I can just figure out what it is that God has called me to do . . . 

If I pray harder or have more faith . . .

If I can finally get my life in order . . . 

What, then? What is the conclusion I’m looking for, exactly? Well, in my mind, I’d experience peace, satisfaction, and joy. I’d finally reach the pinnacle. Everything about my life would be brought into order, including my marriage, my children, and my own mind and heart. More importantly, I’d avoid experiencing longing, unfulfilled dreams, pain, loneliness, disappointment, or failure. Somehow, if I can fix it all, I might be able to bypass what I’ve seen others walk through: betrayal, depression, cancer, prodigal children.

In my obsession with perfection, I can pretend inconsolable things aren’t there. 

I can earn my blessing. 

But we are not meant to be completely fulfilled on this earth. This is a beauty held out by the world. It is shiny and sounds good, and we believe if God really loved us he would fulfill us completely in the here and now. It is often an affront to us that in God’s goodness he asks us to wait on his promises while enduring pain. We stamp our feet and question how anything beautiful could be made from our suffering.

Jesus never said he would save you from affliction. Instead he asked you to go all-in on a promise of unexpected beauty sprouting up through that very affliction. He asks you to shift your eyes from tangible pain to an invisible hope. He asks you to wait for beauty to unfold.

In what ways do you try to “fix” situations or relationships in your life by your own power?