How Do I Deal with My Rebellious TeenSample

Discouraged Teens 

Paul encourages fathers to bring children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. He also encourages them to not provoke their children. Some translations use the word exasperate. It means stirring up anger in them. We are to parent so that we don’t have exasperated, frustrated, discouraged, angry children. How can a father exasperate his teenager? By not consistently living the Christian life. Teens become frustrated by 

1. Unjust expectations – they can’t do anything right in your eyes to earn your trust. In their eyes, it becomes impossible to please you. 
2. Harsh treatment – constant display of anger. Are you angry with your teen? I want my children to remember my face smiling. 
3. Neglect – you’re just not there. Or you act like they’re not there. When was the last time you had a real conversation with your children? I’m not talking about a busy week when coming together at the table didn’t happen. I’m talking about a pattern to consistently neglect a child.
4. Overprotection – you allow them no liberty, no room to grow up, no room to fail. Can you imagine yourself with no room to ever be wrong?
5. Not admitting your failures – you point out their mistakes, but you never admit yours. Admit that you are wrong and apologize. Whether you admit it or not, they know when you’re wrong. 
6. Not giving them boundaries – on the one end of the spectrum you overprotect, and on the other end, you never say no. To a child, when you never say no, you don’t care. “As long as you’re not in my hair, as long as I’m not bothered by you, go wherever you want, and do whatever you please.” When a child gets in trouble time after time, they are craving attention.
7. Never forget where they failed – or you cannot remember where they succeeded. You cannot remember one thing they’ve done right. Love does not keep a record of wrongs. What do you like about your children? Do they know? If I were to ask them right now, could they tell me?
8. Showing favoritism to other children – to make one child feel like they are not loved, while it is so plain that the other one is. Every child is different, and we’re going to find that we get along with one child naturally. The one that we don’t get along is the one that is most like us. We butt heads. Every child is a precious gift from Heaven.
9. Not providing for their needs – you don’t make sure that they are dressed and fed properly. That tells them you don’t care about them.

When parents act like this, children lose heart, and they become angry and bitter.