Study 7. Intimacy

OK, I wanted to end these studies on the ‘I’ word as it is something that might not come easily to us men but it is something essential when it comes to prayer. 

When we think about praying, intimacy might not really be something we want to consider as for so many of us it doesn’t really conjure up the best vocab or ideas that fit with a theme of prayer. 

To be honest, when I think about the word ‘intimacy’ I think about sex. 

I decided to test this theory and ask the powers that are Facebook via a post. I basically said ‘what do you think of when you see this word; Intimacy.’

This is what I got from various people, both men and women:

• Friendship
• Fingers intertwined, and eyes locked in
• Vulnerability
• Complicated
• Sex
• Marriage
• Blurry
• Closeness
• Sweaty
• Hugging
• Trust
• Love
• Myth
• (and a lot of jokers)

I think that from these words we get a personal, one on one, romanticised relationship. 

It seems to be about a physical dynamic, trusting and vulnerable but a definition of intimacy between lovers that are physical and committed. 

What about a vocabulary of intimacy that is explosive, edgy that talks about victories, battles, places of fear where through intimacy, trust and hope has been found? 

I want to read about an intimacy that is about honour and truth, deep honesty and transparency that doesn’t even get near ideas of sexual intimacy and vulnerability like that. 

In the Bible, we can see this stuff, King David knew an intimacy with God through war! He had deep relationships with a band of warriors who would do anything for him. He was battle worn and knew the uncertainty of life but the certainty of God and his word. I need some of this vocab when we talk about intimacy and I think we can have it in prayer. 

Prayers that take us out of the comfort zones, out of our caves and prayers that might cost us. I think praying can be this, it can be intimate and help us men rediscover everything we need through our relationship with God.

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What next?

We have two more reading plans in this 'how stuff works' series, so check out:

• How Stuff Works: The Church
• How Stuff Works: The Bible

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If you like what you read here in this series, then we have a 4-book set called The Manual Starter Pack that you can get hold of from the CVM shop to drill and mine into this stuff even more. Each book contains a month’s worth of reading notes to explore at your own pace, just go ahead and check out the CVM website