Happily By Kevin ThompsonSample

Happily See Marriage As Bigger Than You

Making our marriage about more than just us is a desire that drives action. It’s a hope that motivates and influences everything we do. It’s a perspective from which everything is viewed. This begins individually. I must focus on my own attitudes, decisions, and actions. It continues corporately if my spouse joins me in the belief that marriage is bigger than the two of us. If she chooses not to believe that, then I continue to live out my vows and trust that God will use our relationship to transform my heart. If she joins me in that perspective, then I thank God for her mindset and we work together to pursue righteousness.

We start with the heart. As we each focus on our own hearts, we also guard the heart of our marriage. We learn to love what God loves: The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love, (Psalm 33:5). We purge our hearts of desires that do not match His: The Lord detests the way of the wicked, but he loves those who pursue righteousness, (Proverbs 15:9).  We recognize our responsibility to have a heart for one another and the things of God: And now I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another, (John 13:34).

We use our strengths. We exert ourselves for the betterment of each other and others, (Romans 12:1-2). We engage in activities and habits that will build us as individuals, strengthen our marriage, and contribute to the well-being of society. We don’t grow weary in well doing, believing there is a higher purpose and reward for doing the right things.

When we seek from our spouse what can only be found in God, we are setting them and ourselves up for failure. We will ensure our relationships are never as satisfying as they can be because we will always be expecting more. But when we have a proper perspective of what marriage can and cannot do, we empower success. 

We free our spouse from the pressure of making us happy. We free ourselves from disappointment when someone else fails to make us happy. No longer caught in a trap of wrong expectations, we can do what we are called to do. We can love and be loved, fail and succeed, learn and grow. 

How does seeing marriage as bigger than you make your marriage better?