Marriage That WorksSample

Loving Your Wife Sacrificially

I believe there are three specific ways to love your wife the Ephesians 5 way that will change the nature of your relationship: (1) love her sacrificially, (2) love her intentionally, and (3) love her sensitively. The kind of love Jesus has for the church cost him something. The kind of love a husband has for his wife should cost him something too. 

One of the ways you can love your wife sacrificially is in how you demonstrate your preferences. When you choose her over the other “loves” in your life, you make a statement about her value to you. For me, a simple decision to go on a walk with my wife instead of watching a much-anticipated NBA game conveyed to her a strong since of worth and even sacrifice. I didn’t know it would have that effect, but my wife later shared how valued she felt when I chose her above watching the game, especially since she understood how much I enjoyed sports. 

Love your wife intentionally. Have you ever asked her what her dreams are? How you can help her do what she feels like God created her to do? You are not only her leader; you are also her facilitator. God has given her to you to help support you in your God-given mission in life, but loving her sacrificially means doing the same for her. One of your greatest opportunities in marriage is to purposely seek to develop your wife’s beauty and gifts and to help her grow spiritually, emotionally, and physically. 

Love your wife sensitively. Little things are important to your spouse. As you nourish and cherish her, don’t always look for the big gestures. Simple words of encouragement make a huge difference. Calling when you have no reason to call touches her in a way most men will not understand. Planning a date and working out all the arrangements makes her feel secure and loved. It’s what many women call “sensitivity.” It means being aware of what’s going on in her life and being willing to meet her there. 

If you are a man, which aspects of sacrificial love seem most challenging to you? What immediate practical steps can you take to love your wife more sacrificially, intentionally, or sensitively? If you are a woman, what attitudes and actions do you think will most help the man in your life grow into his role as the Bible defines it?