Who's My Neighbor? A Biblical Call To Love OthersSample

Giving Out Judgment or Grace?

Dr. Doug Samples

“People act in ways that make sense to them.” I have had a love/hate relationship with this statement for over twenty years now.

When people act in ways that don’t make sense to me, I would much rather pass judgment on them for being wrong. Why would they do that? Don’t they know any better? What planet are they living on? But here in Matthew 7, Jesus tells us that passing judgment on other people brings judgment upon ourselves.

When tempted to judge other people, it helps if I stop and remind myself that somehow their behavior makes sense to them. People are different. People have different strengths.  People come from different backgrounds. People see the world from different perspectives. People have had trauma that we know nothing about.

College life is a great time to leave the comforts of home and the comfort zones with which we grew up. We are faced with new challenges to live in a diverse community where we sit in class with people who have beliefs and behaviors that are different than ours. We are faced with the task of discerning what we ourselves believe, while at the same time allowing other people freedom to believe differently than we do. Yowzers! That’s hard work!!!

When people act or think or believe differently than I do, I have a choice to make. I can choose to be locked inside my own narrow world of what is right, or I can open myself up to the possibility that the other person’s actions are just as valid when seen from their worldview.  Rather than pass judgment, I have the opportunity to extend grace to all those who are “not me!”

Years ago, when I was pastoring in California, it became public knowledge that one of my sons was using drugs. Word spread quickly through the teen group and the congregation.  One Sunday night after church, one of my key members backed me up against the wall and said to me, “We will treat you the same way you have treated us!” Before I could even try to think “How have I treated them?” she went on to say, “You have treated us with grace when we needed it, and so now, we will give that same grace to you!” Giving grace is always better than passing judgment!