The Louder Song: Listening for Hope in the Midst of Pain, Anxiety, Grief, Doubt, and LamentSample

How are you? 

If you’re anything like me, that simple, well-meant question—“how are you?”—might make you panic or even despair, especially if you are in a season of trial or hardship. You may look fine on the outside, but on the inside you are in a season of lament (crying out to God in grief and pain). You’re barely hanging on, wondering if God or anyone really, truly sees you. 

In difficult days, an easy question like “how are you?” which should have a simple answer, actually mystifies us. How can I explain to anyone how I am really doing? How much should I let on that I am hurting? 

Interestingly, “how” is usually one of the first phrases in most biblical laments (prayers of grief or pain). The biblical lamenters—like Jeremiah, David, and others—often ask God that same question, “How” –How long will this last, God? How will you fix this, God? How will you show up, God? 

We have a lot to learn from the biblical lamenters, who threw all of their “hows” at God without fear. In fact, we can do the same. God won’t punish us for our honest emotions. He can take it. Because of God’s love for Jesus, we can pour out our sadness and frustration at His feet as often as we need to, for as long as we need to. 

If you need a starting place, take a look today’s reading from one of David’s most famous lament songs, Psalm 13. David doesn’t run from his sorrow or pretend like it doesn’t exist. He hurls his most vulnerable “hows” at God, over and over again. 

Here’s the important thing to notice—somehow in the middle of his lament, David shifts his tone: “But I trust in your unfailing love.” 

David’s misery hasn’t dissipated. His situation hasn’t changed. But still, somehow, David sings a song of praise. David’s reaction to pain might begin with complaint—with how—but David’s lament supernaturally moves to praise. David has learned to trust that God is in control of this hard situation. And in his darkness, God turns on a light. (Psalm 18).

If you can learn to surrender your “hows” to God, you will actually grow in intimacy with Him. And as this new intimacy with God transforms you, your weary heart will find rest and your laments will turn to praise.