Blending A Family DevotionalSample

Children in Blended Families

While parents feel ready to marry or remarry, their children may carry negative emotions about a divorce or loss of a parent. When a trauma occurs, adults respond quickly to push through the trauma. Adversely, children can take 12 to 18 months to start processing a trauma.

The pursuit of our dream to remarry often becomes the death of our children’s dream to see mom and dad reunited. As a blended family forms, children may struggle through the changes of homes, schools, cities, friends, new authority from a stepparent, new step-siblings, competing for time with their bio-parent, and new rules. 

One biological parent is missing and may not be involved due to loss from death or other reasons.

Some children who are not yet ready may resist the blended family environment.

We have identified 19 different reasons why a child may resist emotionally connecting to a stepparent or the blended family. Here are a few:

1. A child may still be hurting or angry from the divorce or loss through death of a parent. 

2. One or more unhealed parents are displaying anger, depression, or other mood swings, causing the children to “walk on egg shells.” 

3. A child fears the pain of another home failing so they protect their heart by not emotionally connecting. 

4. The child senses a betrayal factor; “If I get close to my stepdad, I will hurt my real dad, or my real dad will get mad.” 

5. A child feels rejection or abandonment from a biological parent who seldom or never contacts them. 

6. A child does not feel accepted by a step parent which generates feelings of not belonging. 

7. A child is in a “position change” in the new family.  An oldest or youngest child in the biological family may no longer be the oldest or youngest in the Blended Family. This can affect a child’s emotional identity. (from Helen Wheeler, www.changingfamilies.com). 

Suggestions:

Search out what your children are thinking, without recourse.

Speak their identity in Christ to them.

Establish family time and activities. Have fun together!

Our Prayer for you:

Father God thank You that Your amazing Power is always there for this family through the good and the tough times. We declare Your healing and restoration of every heart in this home. We ask You to rule and reign over all, in Jesus’ Name!

Copyright 2019 Moe and Paige Becnel @ Blending A Family Ministry