Turn Your Wounds Into ScarsSample

Learning How To Forgive 

The second step in facilitating the healing of emotional wounds is learning to forgive.

The first lesson on forgiveness is that it is a learned response. It is not something that is instinctive. The opposite is true. Our sinful nature keeps us from seeking or giving forgiveness.

Learning to forgive those who hurt us is an essential life skill, because it helps develop inner maturity, frees us from emotional bondage to the other person, and helps us develop the power to move on.

The second lesson that we must learn is that forgiveness is not an option. It is a command by God to forgive one another, even as God in Christ has forgiven us.

Thirdly, we must also understand that offering forgiveness is not condoning the wrong done. Many people believe forgiveness means that we are saying that what they did is okay. But that is not what it means. What it is saying is that “I’m not going to let that control me any longer. I’m giving it to God.”

Our sinful nature (our flesh) has a high resistance to forgive. It prefers to take on an offense and use the energy that the offense brings with it, in every negative way. Every part of our un-renewed mind, our carnal mind, has a preference to take on an offense and a propensity to hold grudges and seek its own sense of justice. 

Within the carnal mind, retaliation is most often not an option, but rather it's a driving force, it has to get even! Our flesh, un-renewed, unbridled, lacking illumination and understanding, prefers to be judge, jury, and executioner of the offender even when that offender is our own self.

Fourthly, forgiving others is important because God’s forgiveness of us is dependent on us forgiving others as we read in Mark 11:25-26.  

Unless you understand how much God has forgiven you, forgive yourself, and forgive the person who has hurt you emotionally, healing can never take place.

So, forgiving someone is not so much about your offender. It is about your healing.

If you are willing to let go of what’s owed and give God consent to deal lovingly with your offender, you make the space for God to heal your heart. You may always remember what happened, but Jesus can heal your wound, and the scar left behind will simply be a reminder of Jesus’ healing grace in your life.

Quote: “Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet gives to the heel that has crushed it.” – Mark Twain

Prayer: Lord, I do admit that forgiving the offender does not come easy to me. But I do realize that it is not about the offender, but about my healing. Teach me to learn to forgive. Amen