We're Still In This: Healthy Truths For Happy RelationshipsSample

Throw Away The Ledger 

Lists, ledgers, and relationships – can they coexist? Does a square peg fit into a round hole? If the goal is for a relationship to be healthy, then lists and ledgers cannot be a part of it. No doubt about it, a good grocery list is essential when going to the store – it keeps a person focused, organized, and is a great time (and money) saver. But when applied to people, that same list can turn critical, judgmental, and damaging very quickly. It is human nature to look for things that are wrong… and so it happens. So whether family, friend, or foe, one should examine and determine why there is a list. Is it a matter of not liking them, observing things about them that should change, or wanting them to do something for “us”? In essence, a ledger is being kept on those relationships, wanting them to change so “we” can be happier. That’s unhealthy for everyone individually and for the relationship. God is where JOY is found and a true sense of self because it’s in HIM, not from others! People fail us all the time, so throw away the ledger. God never fails! IT’S IN HIM ALONE where grace abounds!

Tangible Takeaway:

If you love lists, that’s awesome because it’s a great way to keep organized, know where you’re going, and what to get once you’re there! Just become keenly aware if you transition from a “to do” or “grocery” list to a “people” list that looks a lot like a ledger as mentioned above. If you find yourself with a ledger on your hands, turn that ledger on its heel by asking God to help you write down at least five positive thoughts about that person and then surprise them with a note of encouragement by giving them your “list”.