The SYMBIS Assessment PlanSample

Dynamics: Gender

Blind spots. We all have them. Research has shown that we don’t know ourselves as well as we think we do. Psychological and spiritual blind spots keep us from seeing the truth. They distort our perceptions. They trick our reality. And they feed us misinformation. Like the physical blind spots in automobiles, our personal blind spots steer us into danger if we’re not careful (see Matt 15:14).

And there are few areas more prone to becoming “blind spots” in a marriage than gender differences. It’s so easy to neglect them because we’re not being intentional about seeing them.

For example, in general, men have better special awareness and navigational abilities than women. It’s even been seen in studies of 3-month-old infants. Women, on the other hand are typically better at remembering where things are (which is why they tend to navigate by landmarks more than maps). The list of gender differences and abilities stretches on an on. We all get that. What matters in marriage is that we remind ourselves often that God made each of us differently and we can learn from that.

It’s not easy work, of course, but the payoffs are certainly sweet. That’s why we want you to review the gender page of your SYMBIS Report again. Really study it – as well as this passage in Genesis. And project yourselves 10 years into the future, imagining what your marriage will look like. In what ways might you relate to each other then what you’re not doing currently? Why? And how are the differences and the directives spelled out on this page taking root in your marriage 10 years from now? How will you prevent them from becoming blind spots?

Are you reading the book Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts yet? If not, you can learn more here.