Lonely Can Be Fixed, Just Admit It

Like the word alone, lonely is also an adjective. It describes a feeling of sadness stemming from isolation or abandonment. Perhaps you’ve felt lonely because you were the only one who was never anyone’s plus one for the party. Maybe your loneliness stems from no one in your home understanding the way you think or process. Maybe you took a stand for an issue that was important to you, but none of your associates supported your position. Perhaps you noticed all your friends went to the beach for the weekend. Without you. There are lots of situations that make us feel lonely from time to time. The problem develops when lonely is repetitive and becomes a way of life. 

Being lonely or experiencing loneliness is a lack, a feeling something is missing, a pain, a depression, a need, a sense of incompletion, an absence. Lonely is often (but not always) a result of being alone. For example, most people I know don’t feel sad or despondent when they walk to the mailbox or go to the bathroom by themselves. In other words, it’s completely possible for a person to be alone without feeling lonely since alone describes a state of being, and lonely describes an emotional response to one’s circumstances.

Charles R. Swindoll said, “Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it.” There are times when we choose to be alone for personal reasons, like to grab some emotional oxygen and to refuel. But there are also periods when being alone can’t be helped. It’s during these times that we must decide how we are going to respond to our circumstances.

We can all get lonely in the day-to-day business. We wait for connections while suffering through the mundane and hoping for human interaction. Even as we sit and fixate on the future, we can feel more and more isolated because we know the difference between being alone and being attached. And social media isn’t cutting it. Filling our lives with stuff isn’t fulfilling. Pretending we’re fine and faking it is exhausting.

Everyone has struggles and a story. You’re not alone. Even the “pretty people” who pretend to have it all together don’t. I’ve never met anyone immune to loneliness. Lonely hides. But when it raises its ugly head and shows itself, don’t ignore the signs. Self-awareness is the first step to preventing a larger problem later. Remember, you can’t fix what you don’t admit.