Greater ThanSample

 I Will Wait
Devotional with Austin Benjamin

Let’s be real: I find it hard to wait for Netflix to finish buffering or for my wife to finish getting ready when we’re already late or for the red light to change when I’m in a hurry. That’s not to mention the life-altering, big “waits,” such as waiting on a successful pregnancy after months and months of trying, waiting on the healing of a family member from a serious illness, waiting on the peace of God in an anxious season, or waiting on a “Big-Faith Thing” (like the Dallas Cowboys winning another Super Bowl!). One thing is certain: It is hardest to wait when we feel anxious or even fearful of the result. 

At the time of the live recording of “I Will Wait,” I went through a unique difficulty—my foster son leaving. Every foster parent understands what I was feeling at the time. I had mixed emotions of deep heartache and confusion, along with trying to be supportive and caring to the relatives that would be his new family, plus a distant hope that he would return one day. It’s tough to describe the feeling of taking a newborn boy home from the hospital, giving him every ounce of love you have, tagging every picture of him with #prouddad, and watching him grow into the most precious six-month-old boy that anyone could ask for—and then saying goodbye.

It was May 1, 2018. Boy did we ever feel anxious that he was out of our protection and fearful that he was in the wrong hands! But the truth of the matter is he was in the Lord’s hands all along. One year later we received an unforgettable phone call about him returning to our home, and better yet, he’d be home to stay! During that year without him, we fostered and adopted our third child, and I can’t imagine my life without her. Our daughter would never have been able to be in our home if our son hadn’t left when he did. God was in control. And of course, what day did the court choose for adoption day? May 1, 2019—the anniversary of him leaving. One of the saddest days of our lives turned into one of the happiest ones, and our son was there with us to be part of all of it. It was in that time of waiting and trusting in the Lord that we grew closer to Him, and He gave us some of our most precious gifts.

I believe there is so much to behold in the “indefinite wait.” I think of Joseph in the Old Testament and how long it took for his dreams to come to pass. I think of when God called Moses to wait for Him on Mount Sinai. Notice that God never told him how long to wait. Moses was up there just hanging out for six full days without hearing anything, and then on the seventh day, God spoke to him. I think of David waiting on God to deliver him time and again, and during that waiting, he turned everything back to trust and praise. Trust and praise are greater than anxiety and fear. In difficult times of “wait,” God is faithful and big. The “wait” is where we seek and discover His goodness.