Joy: 37-Day DevotionalSample

His shoulders were slouched down as he closed the trunk of his car. He made his way slowly to the front door of his apartment building, pulling a small black suitcase behind him, a plastic Disney bag clasped in his other hand. The light turned green, so I drove on; but I couldn’t stop thinking about that slumped posture, the deflated walk, the aloneness as he turned the key to walk inside,  because my soul has felt all of that too—the low after a high, the clouds on a bright cheery day, numbness where there should be joy, the feelings of nothingness when I yearn for something more—depression. It sometimes catches me unaware: a cold drip as it leaks out of me.

If we don’t live wrapped in the truths that Jesus and the Gospel promise, we can believe these feelings as being truth. We can follow our feelings right into that grey brick building, throw down our bags from better days past, and numbly await our next breath. 

I once heard a pastor say we must walk by faith, not by feelings. We need to believe our way in to feelings, not feel our way in to beliefs. When I feel that dark fog of depression, I don’t decide it’s because God doesn’t love me or doesn’t care about the details of my life. I believe He genuinely and tenderly loves me and because of this foundation, I know my dark feelings don’t have to dictate my existence. This promise—that God is faithful, that He will establish me and guard my heart—this is what my feelings must survey. This is what my life must believe. The steadfastness of Christ is a certainty, and my heart will follow this truth. The desperate feelings that pass over me unpredictably are not grounded in the truth of my loving God, and I can rest knowing that He is fighting to guard me against the dark powers that threaten to take my eyes off Him. 

Jesus, thank you for your faithfulness that allows my dark feelings to fade away in the bright light of your solid truths.