Let Go of the Guilt: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Take Back Your JoySample

  Guilt-Free Living

A guilt trip is a manipulative way of getting someone to do something they wouldn’t otherwise do by causing them to feel guilty. The guilt trips others attempt to drag us on can be hard to overcome because they come from people we are close to, or because not complying implies uncomfortable consequences, or you may have bought into the belief that an accusation is true. 

Keep in mind that a guilt trip is not a demand. It is an invitation you have the right to decline. If you are being guilt-tripped, you may need to have a hard conversation in order to break free. Be brave. Communicate that you care about them and you don’t want to damage the relationship, but that you also feel called to tell the truth and to do what God is leading you to do.

Self-induced guilt trips are almost entirely in your head. Sometimes it is driven by self-preservation—protecting oneself from the wrath of others—or by some other sense of debt that we fabricate. Someone else’s discomfort is not your problem to solve when solving it means diminishing your purpose and work. You must stand fully in who you are regardless of what others may think. Moving out of a guilt trip will put you onto a path of truth and freedom.

When you no longer have to focus on “letting go” because you never grabbed hold of guilt in the first place, this is a sign that you’ve untangled guilt’s grip. You can now focus your energy on what you want rather than what you don’t. In my case, my spirit wanted freedom to make decisions that represented my authentic values and desires. I wanted the freedom to move toward the life I believe God has in store for me.

Acceptance is your ability to see when your guilt is false and stop making decision based on that false guilt. It is also the process of admitting authentic guilt, apologizing, and atoning for it. Acceptance is a bridge from guilt to where you are free to have more authentic relationships, forgive yourself for your mistakes and regrets, and receive God’s forgiveness and love for you. God created unique, divine assignments for you. Accept that. Embrace it. Doing so frees you to have joy and confidence in your decisions. It releases you from the bondage of guilt for expectations you were never meant to meet. 

Guilt-free living means building habits that take back your joy. Rather than focusing on getting rid of guilt, focus on the abundant life God desires for you that is missing when guilt is present. Accept what is past. Make peace with it by humbly forgiving any anger toward yourself and letting it go. Put into words what you have learned and the values you now believe and why. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good, not guilty. Set boundaries that encourage healthy relationships. Do things that make you feel happy, guilt-free, and line up with your values. Resolve, adjust, or remove those things in your life that weigh you down with guilt. 

Commit to incorporating into your daily life, things that bring you joy, feelings of gratitude, and loving connection with others. You will be happier and find purpose by using your gifts, talents, and experiences to serve and impact others.

Respond 

How have others tried to manipulate you with guilt? When have you experienced self-induced guilt?

How would you describe the abundant, guilt-free life that God desires for you? How does a relationship with God make this life possible?

What daily habits and values do you need to incorporate to resolve any guilt you are feeling? How can these habits help you live out God’s purpose for your life?