Extinguish Anger Sample

What Does Righteous Anger Look Like?

Recognizing that anger is a natural, normal, and honorable response to injustice, mean-spiritedness, and wrongdoing is important. The Veteran’s wife, Kristina, mentioned in the introduction to this booklet had grown up in a home where anger was not openly expressed. Maybe you can relate to some of the following words of frustration expressed by this young wife in relation to her husband’s hurtful behavior.

As Kristina nervously sat down in my office, she seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as she stated, “Chaplain, thank you for meeting with me. I really need help and I do not know what to do.”

“How can I help you?”

“I simply can’t live anymore with Kevin’s unpredictable and unexplainable outbursts of rage. It is so scary. I have never lived with someone who is so angry. I grew up in a home where we did not express our anger, and I cannot remember my parents losing their temper. This is so new for me as Kevin never displayed such extreme anger prior to his deployment.”

Tears began to well-up in Kristina’s eyes and I handed her a box of tissues. “Kristina, can you tell me what is most scary about your husband’s anger?”

“Well, it is frightening to find myself married to someone who is no longer the gentle, very attentive, and sensitive man that I married. Plus, it is also distressing for me when I find myself incensed at someone that I want to love. Kevin’s anger is scary because it also stirs up angry feelings in me.”

“And it is difficult for you to express and confront this anger?”

“Oh, yes! I have believed that good people do not lose their temper and display anger. I hold my feelings inside, and try not to react when I’m hurt. Yet, I am really tired of hurting. I outwardly pretend that things are fine which only intensifies the pain inside of me.”

“It is exhausting to try and keep all those painful emotions inside of you.”

“Yes, although I feel guilty when I talk about Kevin’s behavior. I still love him. I wonder if I am to blame for his angry outbursts.”

“So, you feel guilty for Kevin’s anger? I would think that would be very burdensome.”

Kristina nodded and collapsed back into the soft cushioned chair in my office. As tears trickled down her cheeks, there was a wave of exhaustion that seemed to roll from her shoulders at trying to always appear pleasant, cheerful, and kind. As we continued to talk that day, Kristina began to see that she was in no way to blame for her husband’s uncontrolled outbursts.

Perhaps you also have struggled to express your anger. Maybe you have kept pent-up feelings of anger deep inside of you that have been eating away at you, robbing you of peace, and destroying your health. Unaddressed feelings of hurt and anger will not go unnoticed in our bodies and will negatively impact our well-being. As Kristina learned, there absolutely are unjust behaviors which should infuriate us and must not be tolerated.

God is a defender and a protector of those who are oppressed. We read in Scripture how God executes justice for those who are downtrodden. If you have been hurt or are being hurt by someone, please seek help. Like Kristina, you may need to express your anger in a manner which calls for the constructive change of another person’s aggressive behavior.

Readings from the Old Testament

When we worship anything or anyone more than we do God, we know that God becomes jealous and righteously angry. In Joshua’s farewell speech, he announced to the people of Israel:

Joshua 23.16

1 Kings 22.53

God’s righteous anger will protect people from their enemies.

2 Samuel 22.14-16

Doing evil will arouse the anger of God.

2 Kings 17.17

David asked for God’s anger to be poured out on his enemies.

Psalm 69.24

God’s anger can be quite powerful, and God’s mercy is even more powerful.

Psalm 90.9-13

We should be angered by wrongdoing.

Psalm 119.53

Disobedience to God’s commands should anger us.

Psalm 119.137-139

Readings from the New Testament

Jesus was angered when the temple of God was violated.

Matthew 21.12-16

Jesus displayed anger when the Jerusalem Temple was disgraced.

John 2.14-22

Jesus was angry at self-righteous people who did not show compassion.

Mark 3.1-5

God is angered by wrongdoing and the sacrifice of Christ satisfies God’s anger toward our sin.

1 Thessalonians 5.9,10

Thoughts for Reflection

1. Anger is a natural, normal, and honorable response to injustice, mean-spiritedness, and wrongdoing. Write or share why you believe this or why you do not believe this.
2. How was anger demonstrated in the home in which you grew up? Write or share how this impacts you today.
3. How does the verse, “In your anger, do not sin” (Ephesians 4.26) apply to your life? This verse seems to imply that anger is to be an expected emotion at times, do you agree? Write or share your thoughts on this verse in relation to your life.
4. What would be your response to an unfair or cruel act done to you or a loved one? Honestly reflect on how you would display righteous anger.

Prayer

Dear Lord, please help me to understand that there are times in my life when anger is a natural, normal, and honorable response to the injustices and wrongdoings in my life. May I not be timid or shy away from confronting wrongdoing and injustice in our world.

Help me to understand what righteous anger looks like and how I should respond to unfair and cruel acts. I’ll admit that I do not always understand how to respond with righteous anger that wisely confronts the wrongdoing.

I thank you for your wise counsel as you remind me that you have promised to give your followers a spirit of power, love, and discernment in confronting the evils in our world.

In your holy name. Amen.